Ramblings on project management, process re-engineering, business improvement, and anything else that may be pertinent.
News headlines are bleak, especially for banks….and that creates a ripple effect for small business.
A crisis in the U.S. bank sector has hit small businesses hard, drying up credit and throwing many long-standing banking relationships into doubt.
Read this interesting article from Reuters: Banking crisis threatens small businesses
A great site for finding all kinds of tips and tricks you can use with MindManager: The best help and assistance with Mindjet MindManager
An organization, be it a business, a school, a government agency, is a collection of processes. These processes are the natural activities you perform that produce value, serve customers and generate income. Managing these processes is the key to the success of your organization.
Unfortunately, most organizations are not set up to manage processes. Instead they manage tasks. Think about it. Isn’t your company organized around functions. . .the accounting department, the engineering department, the sales department, the customer service department?
As a result, people tend to focus on “local” concerns instead of the “global” needs of process customers. Sub-processes evolve within departments without consideration of other functional areas. Layers of communication and management are created to ensure desired outcomes, thereby adding to costs and lengthening cycle and customer response times.
Inefficiency and waste become part of the system. They rob your organization of profits, productivity and its competitive advantage. But, there is a way out.
Process mapping is a simple yet powerful method of looking beyond functional activities and rediscovering your core processes. Process maps enable you to peel away the complexity of your organizational structure (and internal politics) and focus on the processes that are truly the heart of your business. Armed with a thorough understanding of the inputs, outputs and interrelationships of each process, you and your organization can:
Properly used, process maps can change your entire approach to process improvement and business management. . .and greatly reduce the cost of your operations by eliminating as much as 50% of the steps in most processes as well as the root causes of systemic quality problems.
I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I”m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared”
Operator: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing??”
Caller: “it’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the “C: prompt” on the S creen?”
Caller: “What”s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen! ?”
C aller: “There isn”t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I Type.”
Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What”s a monitor?”
Operator: “it’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “OK. Well, can you see if it is?”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
Caller: “Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator: “Dark! ?”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator:“Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not?”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power … A power failure? Aha. Okay, we”ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I”m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!” !
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull.
They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there…
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
There are those who use change to promote their careers and there are those that use their careers to promote change.
–Sarah Palin
You’re a consultant. Your job is to help build organizational / technical / managerial bridges. You have a client who brings you a proposal that looks like this:
“We have this need for a bridge. We don’t know what materials the bridge needs to be made of. We don’t know how high the bridge needs to be. We don’t know what chasm the bridge will be stretched over. We aren’t sure how long the bridge needs to be, and we definitely don’t know the environmental conditions at the spot where the bridge needs to be built. We’d like you to build the bridge….and we need it done by next month.”
What do you do?
First, attempt to educate the client. If you have a pragmatic client with whom you can communicate based on a shared common goal – a successful project – this may be worth the trouble. You can point them to statistical information on the high percentage of failed projects, the advantage of project management cycles, process diagnostics, etc.
Second, some projects are not made to succeed. That is not your decision. You have to try to make it succeed if at all possible and part of that is documenting problems, offering solutions, and making sure that those involved are aware of both at all times. They can choose to not act on your advice, that is their choice to make. Suck it up and get over it. Sometimes you get paid to do a great job, sometimes they pay you to follow their stupid orders. As long as they are the ones paying you, they choose what they pay you for.
Third, documentation will be king. Develop an iron-clad communication plan and stick to it. Document all changes and problems daily and summarize weekly. Keep reviewing with the client.
Finally, bill by the hour. There is just no way to come up with a value-based price on something like this.
Here’s an idea….starting a business to make the numbers used by gas stations. Seems there is a shortage of 4’s and 5’s.
Traversing the web, I found a couple more Mind Mapping sites:
BiggerPlate
MindManager Enthusiasts
It’s amazing how people have found so many uses for mindmapping…and it’s fun (and educational) reviewing what they come up with.
A new MM blog has come along with a wealth of information. Check it out here.
