I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I”m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared”
Operator: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “Nothing.”
Operator: “Nothing??”
Caller: “it’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the “C: prompt” on the S creen?”
Caller: “What”s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen! ?”
C aller: “There isn”t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I Type.”
Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What”s a monitor?”
Operator: “it’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator: “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “OK. Well, can you see if it is?”
Caller: “No.”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
Caller: “Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle — it’s because it’s dark.”
Operator: “Dark! ?”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator:“Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not?”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power … A power failure? Aha. Okay, we”ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I”m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer!” !
