Tag Archive for 'management'

5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’

The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’

‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull.

They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there…

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

American Management

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team became very discouraged and morally depressed. The American management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A “Measurement Team,” made up of senior management was formed. They would investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was that the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the Americans had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them incredible amounts of money. They advised that too many people were steering the boat and not enough people were rowing. To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the “Rowing Team Quality First Program,” with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower: “We must give the rower empowerment and enrichment through this quality program.”

The next year the Japanese won by 2 miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. Then they gave a High Performance Award to the steering managers and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

3 Minute Management Course

Well I guess email spam isn’t all bad. Take for instance this 3 minute management course:

Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson #1
- To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
____________________________________

Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson #2
- Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
_____________________________________

Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson #3
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your three-minute management course :-)

10 Reasons Redux

Thanks all for your thoughts and comments about this subject. If you would like a printable version, here is a PDF of 10 Reasons You’re Not Ready.

10 Reasons Part 3

Let’s finish this up. . . . .

7. You’re the “Quiet One”
If you can’t step up in front of a large group and speak about your project’s finances, schedules and goals, you won’t make a good PM. Eloquence may not be essential, but you’ve got to be good on your feet. Regardless of deft negotiating and public speaking skills, a PM should have the confidence and expertise to weather any crowd. Join Toastmasters to learn some of these skills.

8. You’re Not a Leader
Without the intangible ability to lead – the mortar that makes the whole greater than the sum of its parts – an aspiring PM will fall short of the mark. On a strategic level, PM’s excel in the areas you might expect, skillful negotiator, competent communicator, talent assessor, leader, team builder, and planner. I look for PM candidates who are results-driven, not process-driven. PM’s who are too inflexible about their procedures and reporting structures often allow those processes to turn into an end in themselves. That inflexibility not only stunts the project, but also shuts the door on the manager’s ability to rise to the next level. Successful PM’s see beyond the processes to prevent tomorrow’s problems.

9. You Don’t Know When to Stop
You can’t be afraid to stop a project if the original reasons for the project are no longer sound. What if you lose your sponsor or other important stakeholders? What if the ROI no longer merits this work? It is far better to terminate a project early than to push through to the end with a product that satisfies no one and has exceeded budgets dearly. If it is not going to work, stop it.

10. You’ve Stopped Learning
Although you may have a great deal of “book-learning,” project managers are forced to learn the hard way what causes project failure. Project managers need to be able to admit their errors, correct them, and avoid repeating them. Your education does not stop with your degree or certification – it’s only the beginning.

Achieving project success is more than simply enacting a methodology standard or carrying out a set of template-driven exercises. Success is achieved through the intelligent application of sound principles guided by experience. If this sounds like common sense, it is.

Knowing the rules won’t guarantee that you’ll rise to the top, but at least you won’t set up roadblocks for yourself along the way. Corporate politics is a game, first and foremost. Failure to play by the rules will almost always result in your being sidelined, no matter how good you are at your work. Prospective PM’s who don’t see it that way may simply not be ready.

10 Reasons Part 2

Let’s continue on our trek. . . . .

3. You’ve got a Swelled Head
Dealing with stakeholders and corporate management requires self-assurance, but all too often, bright managers are cocky, strong-willed, and overconfident. Project managers with big egos tend to overlook little things, or things they deem insignificant. Swelled heads can lead to missed opportunities, when information about those “little things” ceases to flow through the project team.

Even well-intentioned managers can be hurt by their egos. The worst kind of arrogance is the type that covers up insecurities. Why? Managers with this particular failing, squirrel away information as a power play, releasing only half-truths or partial facts so they remain in control of their team – but again, leading to missed opportunities for the project and the company. And even worse, they have a hard time accepting blame or admitting errors.

4. You’ve got No “Heart”
Cowardly lions need not apply. Most executives have their fair share of basic integrity, but a project manager needs enough “heart” to stay the course under pressure.

To some extent, a PM’s job is to reign in their star performers. This fortitude to expose potential problems takes “managerial courage”; in other words, having the mettle to “do the right thing.” It’s more than just speaking up; it’s having the confidence to fix things, too.

5. You’re Too Content with the Status Quo
Letting things brew and dealing with them later is an approach best confined to a Starbuck’s Mocha Latte; it’s certainly not the mark of a successful project manager. Sometimes taking the initiative with a problem means stepping out of the manager’s role to become, for example, an estimator, a scheduler or WBS creator.

6. You Don’t Care Enough about Company Operations
Project managers have to understand what’s behind the numbers. They need to become counselors and advisors. Worthy PM candidates don’t view management as an isolated function, they see past the numbers to explore how a project can help usher in business improvements.

A prospective PM needs to dig into the lessons-learned from previous projects. If the manager is still learning about business, the learning curve is already too long. A PM candidate hoping to join the club should be more of a teacher than a student.

(I’ll finish up in a day or two)

10 Reasons You’re Not Ready

Wondering whether you have what it takes to be a project manager? Here are ten signs that you’re never going to make it to the top of the project hill.

I see it everyday — talented programmers, system technicians and project engineers being promoted to project manager. You may very well be a skillful, seasoned engineer, but parlaying that talent to project management is hard to do. And your first project is how you’ll be judged.

The most important step you can take toward becoming a project manager is to get your name on the list – or, more to the point, not to get your name crossed off the list. Speak to your boss, peers, and managers so the word gets out that you want to be a project manager. Besides my own experience, I’ve spoken with CEOs, executive recruiters, and other consultants, who consider the merits of prospective PM’s. You need to heed their advice and follow their tips in getting yourself ready for that first project.

Now to be honest, one black mark from this list – or even more – won’t necessarily ban you from the project manager position for life; all of these “ten sure signs” can be addressed, in time, if you’re willing to invest the effort. You might also argue that a number of my signs conflict with each other. Should you stand up to the boss, or should you tone down the ego? Should you get more involved with operations, or should you lighten up on the tech certifications? Finding the right mix of skills for your career is a lifelong pursuit; here’s a good milepost to see where you stand.

1. You Really are Still a Technician
There’s more to being a PM than getting the code right, configuring an operating system or designing a data center. IT technicians, however skillful, can’t rise to the top without practical management experience. Good project managers have always been strategists and goal-seekers, no matter the size of the project. Only a technician would fixate on the latest hardware and software while ignoring day-to-day PM issues like schedule, costs and team resources. Remember, from a business point of view, a technician is a necessary expense, not a vital asset.

2. You Can’t Handle Project Politics
When a company has many capable techies, one of the things that allow one to rise to the PM spot is the ability to manage the politics of the business and the project. A winning PM possesses the “executive presence” to juggle the concerns of project constituents – the stakeholders, company management, accounting departments, programming managers, infrastructure engineers, clients, vendors, subcontractors, and employees – without being skewed one way or another.

Executive management has to trust the numbers and the project manager. That means more than simply managing the project downward, a PM must also “manage upward,” presenting facts and ideas to company executives and boards of directors. On occasion this might mean standing up to a CEO. A project manager who decides to play it on the safe side, or is outmaneuvered because of a lack of political savvy, will likely find himself or herself in a weaker position the next time around. Too many managers pay homage to their bosses rather than engaging them. The PM needs to be able to argue a point with the stakeholders or executive management and not shrink away the next time they meet. They form a team bonded partly by respect and trust, and partly by chemistry and other intangibles.

(To be continued in a day or two)

Value Management

A “namesake” article in the latest issue of CIO magazine, about the value created by projects: Don’t Stop Thinking About the Value.

CIOs know that project implementation success rates are woefully low. So once a project comes in on time and under budget, CIOs think they’ve won the battle and can move on. Wrong. Here are some strategies for wresting value from systems long after they’ve gone live.

Project Managing Business Management

Last night I went to a meeting of the Northeast Ohio Chapter of the Project Management Institute. Every year in January, we have the Kerzner Award Dinner Meeting, with a presentation of the Kerzner Award. Dr. Kerzner is the preeminent project manager and we are lucky that he lives, teaches and works in NE Ohio. If your interested in PM, you need to hear him speak or read any of his great texts.

During his presentation of Advanced Project Management: Best Practices on Implementation, my ears perked up a couple of items, but one statement in particular was great to hear.

“Businesses should be run as a project.”

I agree 100%. The trinity of project management–cost, quality and time– is the same concern or goal in business….of any type. It is becoming evident that as businesses and the corporate environment (legal, financial, HR, marketing and the rest) become more complex, business managers are turning to project management to provide a systematic methodology. You do not have to be building a factory or developing an ERP package to be using project management best practices. The methodology works in developing new products, establishing new offices, mergers & acquisitions, process re-engineering and every process needed in managing a business. Perhaps soon we will see a “BMBOK, the Business Management Body of Knowledge,” or just make the PMBOK, the Project Management Body of Knowledge required reading for managers and executives.