Reviewing resumes, although tedious, can be fun and enlightening at times. I was interviewing a young man for a PC technician’s position at a client of ours. He noted his job as Replenishment Coordinator in his present position and I asked him to describe his typical day. As it turns out, he is a stock clerk at a grocery store! What’s with the title?
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Then, of course, I had to think of the slow times in all business cycles I’ve been through, when I had to give out titles rather than raises to keep the troops motivated. Our sales team walked a little higher when they were called Business Development Consultants. During the tech bubble at the turn of the century, you would have thought we were a bank…everybody became a VP of something or other! I’m sure this young fella felt better getting up and going to his job as Replenishment Coordinator rather than stock clerk….even if it still did pay minimum wage.
Okay, so a Stock Clerk is now a Replenishment Coordinator and a Salesman is now a Business Development Consultant…what else is new? It’s been years since a Secretary became an Administrative Assistant, unless your boss is higher up then you may be an Executive Management Assistant. Mail Clerk is now an Office Logistics Coordinator, and a Filing Clerk is now a Data Storage Specialist! Wonder what all those techno-geek MBA’s who design and create buildings’ full of servers and hard drives into a data centers think about that? Would a dishwasher feel more motivated if his title were Director of Hygiene?
Over the years, traversing through many different company cultures and sizes, I’ve collected some strange sounding titles on business cards:
- Chief Imagination Officer
- Technobabblist (Technical Writer)
- Director of Intellectual Capital
- Visualizer (Ad agency artist)
- Chief Morale Officer
- Back-up Generator (VP of Sales)
- Director of Mind and Mood (HR)
Most jobs titles vary from company to company, depending on the culture and reporting hierarchy used by the company. However, C-Level titles, like CEO, CFO, CIO, COO, always remain in vogue and continue to hold a universal appeal. On the other hand, every time I hear “Chief” something or other, I think of the Chief in the old Get Smart series. Would you believe. . . . ?
Let us know if you have a strange and/or wonderful job title.
Watch Dirty Jobs on Discovery Channel. That will give you some ideas… like Shark Suit Tester, Chicken Sexer, and Fainting Goat Farmer (and yes these are real jobs).
And be careful if you get promoted to Director Of Outgoing File Unification Services! You may never get promoted, or another job, again.